3 Myths About Special Needs Families

 

I should preface this by stating the following:

Caveat A: Most days I feel like we hardly qualify as a “special needs family.” Life, quite frankly, is pretty smooth sailing for us. But that’s buying right into the myth that special needs families are people who ‘have it bad.’

Caveat B: At one time or another, I believed all these things. Now that I have a little firsthand knowledge both about my own family and other SN families, I know better.

Okay, all that being said, 3 myths about special need families:

1. Our lives are harder than yours. Umm, nope. You know all of those saying to the effect of ‘everyone is going through something.’ They’re true.

Sure, families with special needs may have some added difficulties, some extra unknowns. The day of a special needs family probably doesn’t look exactly like yours. But, besides the waking up and going to sleep part, most everyone does life a little differently.

Plus, here’s the thing. Families with special needs, like many families dealing with illness or hardship, know a secret. We know, up close and personal, that life is, what it is. It’s more about attitude than outcome. It’s more about today than it is tomorrow. It’s more about relationships than it is real estate.And, baby, we didn’t have to buy a book to learn that. Life kissed us on the forehead and then whispered it good and loud in our ear. 

2. We’re special. Well, of course, we’re special. Just no more so than the average bear.

3. Parents of special needs kids were given an extra heapin’ helping of patience/kindness/[you name it] Really? Where was that line because I sure didn’t manage to stand in it.

Just because we know one of life’s secrets (see #1 above), doesn’t mean we know all of them. What we do have is more opportunities to practice patience, kindness, etc… and certain character traits may grow from that. But that sure as heck is not the same as receiving it on the front-end. 

Want to know something great about going to therapy? PTs and OTs are trained in behavior modification given that they spend all their time getting kids to do things they might not necessarily want to do. Want a free parenting skills class? Go to PT or OT.

I can’t figure out how to end, so I’m going to stop with this quote that was passed on to us, "God doesn’t give children with disabilities to strong people: He gives them to ordinary, everyday people, then He helps the parents to grow stronger through the journey. Raising a child with special needs doesn’t TAKE a special family, it MAKES a special family"