It’s All In Your Mind: Growth vs Fixed Mindsets

The set up, the swing, the guys who have been roped into retrieving the ball

I was cooking this weekend and enlisted Ying and Luk Chaai’s help snapping the ends off of green beans. This wasn’t the kind of task Ying could complete with just one finger, so I suggested she bite the end off. After one chomp of raw green bean, she found my suggestion lacking, in, well, taste. Instead Ying asked for her scissors and snipped the ends off. Solution found; problem solved.

Again and again Ying personifies the adage if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  I’m fascinated by this relentless determination because it’s not the result of anything we’ve taught her. Additionally, this attitude seems particularly prevalent among congenital amputees. Where do Ying, Richie Parker, Kyle Maynard, Nick Vujicic, Jessica Cox (to name a few) get their resolve? I’ve been reading Mindset by Carol Dweck, and I think I have the answer. People that repeatedly and persistently work to overcome have a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. 

To define the different mindsets, Dwerk asks when do you feel smart? Is it when you don’t make a mistake, when something is easier for you than others or is it when you work on something and figure it out? People who feel smart when they’re flawless have a fixed mindset. People who feel smart when they’re learning have a growth mindset.

I will admit to falling smack dab into the first camp in many areas of my life. I feel more successful as the hare than the tortoise. I prize speed and perfection, in myself and in others. If I’m not careful, I’ll certainly convey this to my kids. And, I don’t want to. Speed and perfection are not the hallmarks of a life well-lived. As Dwerk points out, they are also the enemies of difficult learning.

Can you reform a fixed mindset and hone a growth mindset? Dwerks says yes and gives some practical, helpful examples on how. She says to offer children encouragement such as: “That homework was long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.” or “It makes me really upset when you don’t do a full job. When do you think you can complete this?”

Another suggestion from the book that we will be immediately incorporating will be to discuss a mistake we made or something we worked to overcome each day. We’re going to try doing this at dinner time. I see a huge advantage to doing it at this time of day. If my dinner is not well-received, I know what my ‘fail of the day’ can be. 

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The green beans I was making can be found here. They were delicious.